Friendship.

Weather: 77 degrees, 60% precipitation, 93% humidity.

Listening to: Neil Young


Over the past couple of years, I've had ridiculous amounts of time to think about my relationships with other people; specifically friends.

Which naturally leads me to think about friendship in general. What is a friendship? What does having a friend mean?

To me, a friend is not a friend.

When I consider someone a friend, I consider them family. Family is always there for one another, family is supportive. Family loves you no matter what, and most of the time...no matter how far away you are, family keeps in touch (somewhat functioning families...LOL).

After moving to Florida and being away from my friends, I've gained the ability to view my friendships with the perspective of an outsider.

Granted, I have not been the epitome of a perfect friend. Nor, do I expect such things from others. However, I feel as though the connections and bonds (which have been deep, VERY deep) I've made with other human beings should be treasured. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly and easily others forget. But then again, this is just my perception, and I can never really trust my perception of people, situations or things because everyone experiences them differently. Thom Yorke says it perfectly, "Just because you feel it...doesn't mean it's there."

Maybe it's me? Maybe it's you?

Maybe it has to do with the location of residence...maybe age...maybe a busy schedule... I could continue with a fantastically long list of excuses to why people I love choose to keep me at a distance.

But after all is said and done, it has no bearing on anything really.

And the people who really matter are the ones who constantly choose to make themselves present in my life. For example:

1. A phone call.
2. A text.
3. A card.
4. An e-mail.

(And God knows, I've tried all of these things).

Basically, any sort of notion that you even think about me. Because knowing that I cross your mind occasionally is enough. I'm doing something awesome with my life, my days are so filled with things that I barely have time to myself. As much as I want to keep trying to hang onto friendships that are mostly one sided, I just can't do it anymore. I don't have the energy or patience for it.

Regardless, I will always love you guys, and you know how to reach me if you choose to. But if not, here is to the good times. The times where things were real. Cheers. xo

Bon Voyage, Sun King.

Weather: 87 degrees, 50% percipitation, 66% humidity.

Listening to: Kings of Convenience


*I actually wrote this a couple months ago, but I just wanted to share it.


I woke up early this morning, wrote a few letters to my family and walked out to the mailbox, cup of coffee in hand. It’s a beautiful day, clear blue sky, a gentle breeze, and sunlight grazing each palm leaf. Enjoying my short stroll, I am stopped dead in my tracks when I notice a newly planted baby key lime tree in the yard.

A few weeks ago Alex & I were invited downstairs to a cocktail hour by our neighbor Brian. He is a peculiar man, an advertising photographer and artist for most of his life; refers to himself as the “Sun King” (Not kidding, here is his website: http://www.sunkingstudio.com/).Short in stature and gray haired, but not lacking in composure, there is a mysterious aura that encircles him. A type of calmness I can’t quite understand at this age, but surely admire nonetheless.

We arrive at 5:00PM on the dot with a bottle of Chardonnay from Santa Barbara County. He answers the door with a smile and graciously accepts the wine.  As I make my way inside and sit down in the first chair I spot, I notice a worn Woodstock T-shirt framed and hanging near the door. Beneath the shirt a portrait of a woman in cowboy boots, hat, shorty shorts, and a vest with nothing underneath but a pair of beautifully tanned and perky breasts is neatly framed above a handcrafted tool bench.

He cracks open the bottle of wine and pours us a glass, then puts the bottle we brought to the side and opens a different bottle of his own wine and pours him a glass.

“I only drink this type of wine and nothing else. Once I find something I like I stick to it. I used to prefer red wine but it became too heavy for hot days.”

As I sip, I continue to look around his apartment. There are several statuettes of a woman’s silhouette placed on different surfaces; one on top of the fridge, another on a shelf next to the dining table.We spoke about the man who lived in our apartment before we did, and the others who live in the house on the front of the property. Brian pulls out a huge chunk of white horseradish cheddar, which I had never tried before, and of course, it paired perfectly with the wine. As each minute passed, my admiration for this simple yet extremely complex man kept growing. He keeps his front door open, as an invitation for nature and company.

“Do you like it here, Brian?”

“Oh yeah, I like it here. I usually stay in one place for a year or so, and I’ve been here for about a year and a half. Permanently living temporarily, that is kind of like my motto. I’ve been happy here though; once I decide to leave I’ll plant a key lime tree in the yard. So if you see a key lime tree pop up out of nowhere one day, know that I’ll be out of here within a few weeks.”

So it’s a Saturday, weeks after our cocktail hour, and the key lime tree sits delicately in the yard surrounded by a circle of coconuts.

Ciao Sun King, we'll miss you.

Determinism Vs. Free Will

Weather: 89 degrees, 20% precipitation, 72% humidity.

Listening to: Andrew Bird

Beverage: Gunpowder Delicate Pearl Green Tea from Grace Tea Company


A debate concerning determinism and free will arose yesterday during dinner between my husband and I. It got me thinking, and has been on my mind ever since. We agreed to disagree but I want to know what you guys think.

Before I begin there are two terms which will appear frequently in this post: "determinism" and "free will".

Determinism
The belief of cause and effect relationships: X happens because of Y cause. An example of this would be, "My parents did this to me, therefore I am this way." Most people who believe in determinism, "espouse the view that all human actions are caused by something, even if we are oblivious to these causative factors," (Abascal, Brucato, Brucato, and Stephenson, 2012, p. 26).  Some extreme determinists imply that free choice is non-existent.

Free Will 
At the other end of the spectrum- free will is the notion that humans have the ability to ignore determining factors and freely choose their behavior. Of course extreme biological factors such as schizophrenia and autism are not being accounted for in this discussion.

Some determinists (like my husband) believe that choice does not exist. A quote from our debate last night if I may, from the man himself, "People like to use the word 'choice' like some type of holy grail...there is no such thing as choice, people make decisions based on experience." 

I agree with a small portion of this. People do make decisions based on experience. You wouldn't take a road with construction and traffic every day to work, knowing there is an alternate back route you've taken before. Or you wouldn't pick up a pan that has been in the oven for an hour with your bare hands after being burned. However, you could if you wanted to. As a human being, you have the ability to choose to do so. People know smoking cigarettes is detrimental to health, but they still do it. Why? Because they can if they choose to.  Dr.'s Abascal, Brucato, Brucato, and Stephenson explain this in more scientific terms:

"For humans a more descriptive model is that of S-O-R (stimulus-organism-response). A stimulus impinges upon you, but before you respond, you have a thought about that stimulus, you imbue it with meaning. It is that thought that leads to your particular response....It is here between the stimulus and response humans have the greatest freedom, the freedom to choose that response. The difficulty lies in the fact that our thoughts tend to be automatic and rather telegraphic, and we are generally not aware of them." p. 28

This is where things get sticky. "Automatic" and "telegraphic" thoughts do have the potential to be predisposed due to neuroplasticity . For example, someone who has been abused and beaten their entire adolescence, is statistically more likely to have that "automatic" and "telegraphic" thought to beat others when stimulated in a particular way, their brains may literally be "hard wired" to have a violent predisposition. BUT the "hard wiring" CAN be altered...also due to neuroplasticity. 

Anyways, here lies my issue with determinism: as mentioned above, during the process of raising a hand to another person there is a window of choice...however brief and instantaneous...it exists. Muscles are not involuntary. From Anatomy and Physiology 101: the muscular system is completely voluntary in every homeostatic human being. With that being said, this hypothetical person is choosing to raise their hand and strike another person. Unless they are electrocuted or have some out of the ordinary muscle spasm, the choice is there to do it-plain and simple. Just because someone is predisposed to a certain type of behavior, does not mean their irrational actions are justified. Some other examples are depression and addiction.   

This is proof that human beings have the capability of "re-wiring" their neural connections with brain exercises. Literally forcing yourself to think critically and rationally changes the formation of your brain. No one says it is easy, it's a process that takes an incredible amount of effort and patience (and probably A LOT of therapy...LOL), but every person without an extreme physical ailment or brain deformity is capable of this. A lot of falling off of the horse and getting back on, but after much practice those new neural connections will become stronger and more accessible. Here is another website explaining this process in greater detail: HOPE.

So are people capable of changing? I believe so, because they have the power to choose to do so. To say otherwise is a cop out. An excuse to stay exactly the same because change takes time, effort, critical thinking, self evaluation, and frankly, it's really hard.The method of doing this can be achieved through positive psychology. But more on this in another post.   

This form of psychology restores my faith in humanity. The potential for greatness is there. It's just up to us to figure it out.  

Cited:

Abascal, J. R., Brucato, L., Stephenson, P., Brucato, D. (2012). Essential Elements for Effectiveness: Optimal Functioning Through Positive Psychology. 26-28.

A "Vintage Versace" Insider.

Weather: 90 Degrees, 30% Precipitation, 65% Humidity.

Listening to: Bonobo

Beverage: Coffee, Don Francisco's 100% Colombia Supremo.

I recently started working for a fabulous woman (that shall remain nameless for privacy purposes) who is the former CEO and owner of the original Versace franchise in South Florida in the late 80's/ early 90's. Not to mention a dear friend of Gianni himself when he was alive, R.I.P.

Having the opportunity to work for her is so surreal. I get to hear about her time in Paris with Gianni at Versace fashion shows when business was booming, or about seeing Catherine Zeta Jones a few seats over from her at said fashion show (and how breathtakingly beautiful she is in person). Or the backstage knitty gritty during those fashion shows...LOL. All whilst accessorizing a vintage Versace tuxedo jacket with fox fur cuffs on a stark white mannequin. 

Some of the runway samples are damaged, (it's vintage, duh.) On one hand it is an epic shame, but on the other hand I am in awe. To think that Naomi Campbell's heel snagged that skirt, or Linda Evangelista may have spilled her glass of VERY expensive wine on that blouse is mind blowing! 

*All catalog photos are property of M.S. 

Not only do I get to style all of these fantastic pieces of fashion history, but I get to photograph them as well! Here are some shots of what we are currently working on getting up online. A sneak peek if you will...

*All photographs are property of Abiti Vintage, Inc. Any unauthorized reproduction or claim of these photos will result in fraud.  

Needless to say, I love my job and am so extremely lucky to have it. Life is good! To visit the store on Etsy, please contact me for a direct link...otherwise, enjoy!

Happily Ever After for Dorothy and Clayon.

Weather: 91 degrees, 30% percipitation, 63% humidity.

Listening to: Cocteau Twins

Beverage: Coffee, Don Francisco's 100% Colombia Supremo.

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of designing and constructing all of the flower arrangements for a fairy tale themed wedding in Ft. Lauderdale for Dorothy (Bride) and Clayon (Groom).

My "creative" process for these weddings usually goes something like this:

1. Speak with bride and groom to get a feel for their style, personality, theme, etc.

2. Sketch out some ideas and color pairings.

3. Get ideas approved. Come up with budget/cost.

4. Place order with my favorite flower vendor, Miami Dutch.

5. Book days in my schedule to work on flowers. Set delivery days, collect payment.

6. Get supplies, have flowers delivered, spend two or three crazy sleepless days working on the order, and delivery to the venue the morning of the wedding.

Sometimes it can be laborious, miserable and hectic, and sometimes it can be easy, enjoyable, and a great opportunity to meet amazing people/ lasting business connections. It's always worth it when you come out with an experience like this:

*Catering done by KnD's Events.

*All photos courtesy of an amazing Miami photographer, Liam Crotty.

Another wedding is coming up in January! Stay tuned.

I've decided to change the direction of my blog.

Seeing as my last post was almost seven months ago, I have decided to get back into the swing of things and switch up the content of my blog a bit. Moving forward, some of my posts will be about things I find interesting, CUTE, beautiful or just plain funny and some posts will be about my current personal projects, work, events, science, psychology, and food...a lot of food.

I am an artist at heart, and a scientist by trait. In past lives I was a doctor, a florist, a painter, an adventurer, a warrior, a Native American healer, a botanist, an astronomer, and philosopher.

I basically just want this blog to be a reflection of the inner workings of my brain; so you can see what I see.

Also, what kind of person would I be if I didn't share all of this awesome stuff with the world?

Plus, I can barely remember what I ate for lunch yesterday let alone all of the wonderful things that happen in my life on a weekly basis. Hopefully this blog will be a sort of time capsuled catalog for me to relish in, snippits of everything I love, just a click away. The new and improved Amor Fati:  A small glimpse into the mind and life of, well...me. Enjoy!